If you are one of the many couples dealing with fertility issues, you may be wondering how to cope with the wave of emotions that have arose. Family and friends don’t always understand what it’s like to struggle with conceiving and the overwhelming disappointment you feel each month when the pregnancy test comes back negative or the grief and loss felt with each miscarriage. Here are a few ways to help you and your partner cope with infertility.

Do not blame yourself or your partner.

It is not uncommon for one or both partners to feel that it is their fault they are unable to get pregnant. Blame may stem from past choices or circumstances that may have had an effect on your ability to conceive, or be directed towards your partner wanting to wait until later to start a family. The blame game may be present, but doesn’t mean you have to take part. Blaming is never helpful or constructive. All it does is create added stress that can further distance you from your fertility goals. Instead, acknowledge that there are things that may have influenced your chances of having children, but you cannot change the past. Look forward to the future and what you can do together now. Work as a team to determine your options.

Continually educate yourself about infertility.

Uncertainty or fear of the unknown plays a big part in how you respond or cope with feelings. The more you understand about infertility and infertility treatments, the better you and your partner are able to plan for what lies ahead. This can be a great source of hope. You will know what to expect from different types of treatments and how much they will cost. You’ll also feel more comfortable talking to family and friends.

Give yourself permission to talk about your feelings.

Be open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling and you may find they are feeling some of the same emotions as you. Set a time limit for how long you and your partner talk about frustrations, sadness and future plans, since it can be draining or amplify negative feelings. Find a support group for couples who are struggling with fertility problems. Your doctor’s office should be able to recommend groups that meet in your neighborhood. There are support groups available online where you can chat with others who are experiencing the same things you are and be encouraged by couples who have been through it and have had a successful pregnancy, Secure Your Fertility being one of them.


Don’t give up hope.

Whatever type of infertility treatment you and your partner choose there may be disappointments, but be encouraged. There is always someone who has walked the same road and can share their experience, strength and hope.

If you’re looking for a little extra support, you can join our page on Facebook of #DEARS Women Devoted to Early Awareness About Reproductive Health. We’re here to help you get through this difficult time!

I know firsthand what this journey is like as my husband and I have tried to conceive with assisted fertilization for two years. I want my story to help others.


About the Author

Hi! I’m Dr. Jerisa ER. I teach confused, nervous and stressed out patients how to get back to baseline again. I also own a physician’s clinic with my husband where we help the community to receive the medical services they need. I also have struggled with conceiving a child. This process has made me passionate about infertility, which is why Secure Your Fertility was born. Our mission is simple, to provide useful information to women who are looking to conceive.

Facebook – @DrJerisaER   Twitter – @DrJerisaER   Instagram – @Dr_Jerisa